African HRC Calls for Apology from South African Relationship ‘Specialist’ regarding Anti Gay Teaching

“Please let me know if you would be willing to review your material and revise your publication with corrections, and also if you would be willing to issue an apology to the LGBT community. I am not sure how much harm has been done at this point, yet it is never too late to right a wrong” Melanie Nathan, Executive Director African HRC

If you read about Gretha Wiid (www.grethawiid.co.za) you will see that she is a self styled educator, touted as relationship specialist, game lodge proprietor, and shall we say a relationship evangelical. She  advertises workshops to high school kids and other such events, with the solicitation we highlight below. Then there is that lucrative Johannesburg wedding industry, perhaps the ‘wind beneath her wings’, that may serve to be her downfall if she allows her discriminatory and ignorant teachings, as highlighted below, to encroach on her business dealings – After all South Africa is the one country on the continent of Africa that can boast full equality for all under the law:

Her Workshops:

 HIGHSCHOOL:

“Do not miss this opportunity!  All About Relationships, choices etc.   And of course we should talk about the media’s influence in your life, and view on sex, love and relationships. I promise its the best investment for your womanhood and manhood! Some and feel the tingle in tour toes and feel the butterflies in your stomach get tired!”

EISH! This person so ignorant in her teachings about homosexuality – invested in her “feelings” about life rather than truth – and she is being set loose on South African kids! You wonder why I am concerned? Well take a look at what she has to say about homosexuality in a manual to be used by parents when talking to their children and then at the letter which I sent to her in my capacity as Executive Director of The African Human Rights Coalition, thereafter:


HER ANTI GAY MANUAL:

The Wiid Manual, addressed to parents, seems to be intended as a publication parents can use to explain life’s matters to their children.  This section is entitled: “What does it mean to be Gay?”  It launches into a primitive depiction couched in dangerous ignorance, asserting stereotypes and cliches – and astoundingly hurtful to any LGBT person: In essence it asserts Homosexuality is a choice: “Mans saam met mans wil wees en vroue saam met vroue.” (Men want to be together with men and women together with women).  She goes on to say that some people ‘want you to believe that people are born gay.’ ‘This is something I do not agree with …’, Wiid notes. “I believe (feel) with all my heart that God made men and women to love the opposite sex..,.” . She asserts that these men could go on to be great husbands for women… and the problem is they have no one to speak to until its toolate …. (!) Some boys who play piano and chess and don’t like  rugby are teased and are therefore called “faggots” by other children at an early age… and then go on to believe they are in fact gay (Moffies – Afrikaans slang for ‘faggot’ not gay man as she asserts)

 

Subsequent updated more accurate Translation:

MY LETTER:

Dear Ms. Wiid,

It is with deep concern that I am writing to you.

I was sent a copy of a page from a manual which you apparently have written with regard to the raising of children, wherein you discuss homosexuality in a manner that conveys absolute ignorance and sets parents and children up for great harm. Homosexuality is not a choice.

You cannot have a “feeling” about what you think “causes” homosexuality – anymore than you can have a “feeling” why God gave some people black skin and others white skin. In the old days this type of “feeling” was used to justify Apartheid and now you use the same basis to reflect on why people are lesbian or homosexual. The danger of your dicta (notably your feeling in print) is the homophobia that results from it.

You have said you do not believe that people are born homosexual and much more – and it is this very type of talk that serves to justify the bullying, persecution and violence LGBT people are subjected to. However what makes your publication even more insidious is the fact its directed to parents, who are often on the frontline of the love and care needed to nurture children/teens when they come out. You direct your work at these parents who when believing homosexuality is a choice often kick kids out of their homes, resulting very often in homelessness and worse yet, suicide.

I am the Executive Director of the African Human Rights Coalition. Our organization was constructed as a direct result of the persecution caused by Christian Evangelicals, who in the name of Jesus and God invoke lies and myth which have resulted in the direct persecution of LGBT people. Everyday we are dealing with young people who have been banished from villages, evicted from homes, fired from jobs, assaulted, or blackmailed and tortured by police. These victims of persecution are borne from the language and myth that you have perpetuated in your written manual. These are not people who gleefully want to be gay as so shamefully portrayed in your writing. In fact when given the awful intolerance many fight off the urges of their innate sexuality and gender identity in attempts to be who they are not! This is anything BUT a choice! Without these teachings – where you assert that homosexuality is not innate but rather a choice, none of this persecution would be happening. But myth serves to scapegoat and it creates a climate of fear and divisiveness instead of inclusion, and love. I do not think Jesus preached the former, but imagine that he would have preferred the latter!

I would also like to point out that the perpetuation of untruths which serve to cause direct or indirect harm can be interpreted as “hate speech’. In South Africa LGBT people are considered equal to all other South Africans and their protection as such includes the right to their sexuality, and an ability to live without fear of the violence brought on by hate speech.

You have your absolute right to your freedom of expression – so long as it is truthful and does not hurt anyone else. And no one is stopping you from freely practicing your religion. There is nothing stopping your belief in Jesus and God. And your ability to pay homage, pray, and speak in the name of your religion. However when the manner in which you convey message, when you assert blatant lies and insert your “feelings” as if truth – it can crush others and so you are stepping on dangerous turf.

There is a scientific explanation behind homosexuality. You would better serve God if you wrote about this subject in an informed educated way. Lest we forget, that if you choose to quote the bible in this context, it is indeed an ever evolving work, that can indeed handle scientific parallels and contextual interpretations.

Please let me know if you would be willing to review your material and revise your publication with corrections, and also if you would be willing to issue an apology to the LGBT community. I am not sure how much harm has been done at this point, yet it is never too late to right a wrong.

Sincerely,

Melanie.

MELANIE NATHAN, Esq.
Executive Director
AFRICAN HUMAN RIGHTS COALITION
www.AfricanHRC.org

CC. GLAAD SOUTH AFRICA

THE BUSINESS:
It would seem Gretha Wiid has quite a large Facebook following. And why does she do this? Well there seems to be a lot of merchandise for sale – most lucrative probably is the 44 luxury room lodge site, La Wiida – named for the owner- a  safari game lodge, wedding reception and conference center:

I wonder if anyone has conducted their same-sex wedding at the lodge? I wonder if she accepts same-sex weddings or turns them away – the latter would be contrary to South African law . Let us know!

This is how Wiid desribes herself in a short Arise Women’s Conference BIO:

Straightforward, humorous and with an unflinching dedication to God’s truth, Gretha Wiid is a renowned motivational speaker who travels the world to present faith-based teachings on relationships, marriage, family and the important role women play in God’s Kingdom.

Speaking with authority on issues of marital life, parenting, relationships and being a spiritual warrior, Gretha’s tongue-in-cheek sense of humour and practical application of God’s Word have made her a sought-after speaker across South Africa. The author of six books, Gretha has an Honours degree in Sex Education and Educational Psychology as well as Honours degrees in Sotho and Zulu. Gretha is a regular contributor on television, radio talk shows and in print media and lives in Pretoria with her four daughters and husband, Francois Wiid. Their core family values and Gretha’s teachings are founded on God’s Word.

Please keep an eye on these pages and contact Wiid’s publishers and conference speaking gigs to assert our complaint about her dangerous and possibly unlawful teachings.

CONTACT: Melanie Nathan, Commissionermnathan@gmail.com 
Tweet: @MelanieNathan1
African HRC Facebook Page: PLEASE LIKE at – https://www.facebook.com/africanhrc/

UPDATED HERE:

https://oblogdeeoblogda.me/2017/05/13/a-bombarded-gretha-wiid-makes-video-excuse-for-anti-gay-teachings/

A Bombarded Gretha Wiid Makes Video Excuse for Anti Gay Teachings

Our Gretha Wiid Complaint Goes Viral and now she is back-peddling while really doubling down! But still no real correction or apology – just excuses!

This past week, after my article broke the story condemning Gretha Wiid’s false assertions about homosexuality it went viral. We demanded an apology and a correction to her damaging manual.  Many people reported personal harm which they assert was a direct result of her teachings and influence,   and after finding out that several people have since reported her to the South African Human Rights Commission, and after thousands contacted her, it seems that she has attempted what many of may construe as a backhanded apology or a mere excuse that doubles down on her lies and myth.   READ MORE –  https://oblogdeeoblogda.me/2017/05/13/a-bombarded-gretha-wiid-makes-video-excuse-for-anti-gay-teachings/

 

 

 

 


71 thoughts on “African HRC Calls for Apology from South African Relationship ‘Specialist’ regarding Anti Gay Teaching

  1. I have been directly affected by this “course” that Gretha conducts to teenagers. My daughter attended this “course” initiated by my ex husband two years ago, and I did not think much of it at the time – he positioned it to be a course to teach her about teenage relationships. However, after my child attended this course she was more expressive and verbal expressing her disapproval of my relationship with my (same sex) life partner of 10 years now. She was totally dis-respectful and basically cut all communication and ties with me and my life partner, despite the fact that we have given her a loving home. I don’t think Gretha understands the damage that she has caused to loving LGBT family homes and when we are trying to do our utmost to be accepted in an environment where our constitution is supporting us but some pockets of the society who are teaching their own ideology and maybe believing in it are doing so much damage to children, families and this will take years if not a lifetime to recover from. My mother is 67 and my child is disapproving and severely criticising my mom’s loyalty towards my life. I believe that my daughter would have been more open and receptive towards my rights as contained in the Bill of Rights in Chapter 2 of the Constitution. I am hoping that the relationship will be restored in my mom’s lifetime…

    1. I am so sorry you have had to go through this untenable pain. Its unconscionable to think of all the harms that can occur by teaching hate and intolerance instead of love and acceptance. Your family will indeed be scarred forever. Thank you for coming forward with your story. I had no idea her harm was so pervasive as to go beyond the scope of what I had thought to write about here. Best Melanie.

      1. perhaps trying to teach “acceptance” is not the smartest thing you can do, maybe tolerance? No Cristian will ever accept homosexuality, but many have learned to tolerate it. Something to think about

        1. If you teach acceptance then the party who is being taught is welcome to OFFER tolerance as their compromise! But when it comes to my belief that homosexuals ought to be ACCEPTED – I am going to educate based on on THAT benchmark!

          1. I can only say ditto right? Gretha Wiid wrote her opinion and she asked for acceptance yet you didn’t offer tolerance you just plainly laid a complaint against her? I think the right word is “hypocritical”??

            1. You are DEAD wrong and clearly dont have the intellectual capacity to understand. I fully accept WIID’s right to practice her religion. I don’t tolerate it. I accept it. However I do not tolerate hate speech and lies and myths being perpetuated in the name of her religion under any circumstances. She is using Jesus and God to promote hate of lgbt gay people Why would I tolerate that? ask that she stop imposing her unproven unscientific lies and OPINIONS – i.e. unproved bullshit on others. Using her religion as an excuse to lie and hate. Show me where she is stopped from her religious freedom? Show me where I fail to accept her as a christian with a right to pray and follow her beliefs? She has no right to impose lies on young impressionable people.

  2. It’s people like this woman that helped me to move away from Christianity completely. They go around preaching hate and judging others. Wiid, You have no idea what you are talking about. It’s teachings like this that promote suicide in our youth. Shame on you. This coming from a prominent Christian teacher. It’s absolutely revolting.

  3. No one should judge. We are not in a position to judge each other as no one is perfect. This woman is a christian and she lives by christian beliefs. She chooses to share these beliefs with people who choose to listen to her, no one forced them. You have those same rights, you have the right to preach your own beliefs to those willing to listen. By forcing her to apologize for her beliefs or to force her to have same sex marriages at her lodge are you not bullying her the same way you feel bullied by her?

    1. THere is a separation of Church and State and that is critical to a democracy,. SA is not a Christian country . Christianity is not above other religions. So if she has a business she is compelled to follow the law and serve everyone – otherwise her business operates against the constitution. No one is stopping her from praying or having her beliefs. But to live in a society you must obey the law. As far as an apology. No one is forcing an apology. If you read my letter I am inviting her to apologize. Of course she is not forced to do that. But if she is willing ti admit her mistake then she would apologize. My experience with religious fundamentalists is that they stick by what they believe and refuse. Thats okay. In such event she will have to face the consequences of not being able to separate her business from her beliefs. BUT here is the real problem. One cannot get away with hate speech in SA. especially if it hurts other people. When you lie about people and say things like homosexuality is a CHOICE. THAT is NOT a religious position. She admits its her “feeling”. And when saying that causes persecution to the group – then you have a serious problem.

      1. Freedom of religion is in the same part of the constitution, she will have to face no authority in court because this will not be seen as hate speech, but rather religious views. As for the choice statement she made, NO REAL Christian believes that, we believe according to Romans 1 that Homosexuality is the consequence of God punishing people who blatantly refused to admit He is God. It’s not a choice according to Christians, but we do believe that no one is born that way.

        1. Of course freedom of religion is entrenched in the Constitution. That said who is stopping Ms Wiid from going to Church and praying. Or giving a sermon in her Church. Or inviting friends over and reading her Bioble. BUT keep her away from our teens – many of whom may NOT be Christian and she has no right to solicit or Prosthelytize in the public domain if in the opinion of many she crossing a line into hate speech that can actually serve to HURT children. Saying SHE believes that homosexuality is a CHOICE – is not religion but her uneducated opinion. No one is stopping her religious freedoms!

    2. Unfortunatly the very same Christians choose to ignore other verses in the same book from whence they continuously conveniently quote, this book of the bible instructs people not to eat sea food, swine, wear cloth of mixed fibre and some other crude instructions that I rather not quote.

      So the question should be asked if these other laws / instructions are followed, or are they conveniently ignored, and is one so called sin worse than another?

      So we are all doomed to hell for eating prawns, smoked muscles, wearing any clothes that have mixed fibre e.g. shoes leather uppers with rubber heals, or dresses made from a mixture of cotton and polyester etc… well then I suppose everyone on earth will be seeing each other in Hell….!

      1. Edwin please note that you are refering to Christians yet stating Jewish laws. The jewish law is no more of concern to a Christian than the ancient roman law under Julius ceaser is of concern to you as a 21st centuary South African.

        So no what you claim is not accurate

        1. So you say Jews don’t have the right to their opinion – or Jewish law should not be viewed equally ? That ONLY Christian religion should apply to everyone? LOL So you scream freedom of religion in one comment and then in the next say that ONLY Christianity is applicable. However HOW COME you want Sodom and Gemorrah to apply to justify Christianity’s anti GAY dicta and then in the same breathe you say the rest of that same Bible ONLY applies to Jews??!!

          I am on the floor at your chutzpah ! OH and I thought Jesus was a Jew! No wonder he was so nice and kind! Unlike the Fundamentalist Christians of this day.

  4. Speaking as a gay woman, I replied on the article by writing the following: “So oningelig. Dis wanneer mense dink almal moet val onder hul perfekte prentjie van hoe goed moet wees. Bepaal jou by jou eie lewe en praat oor goed wat jy verstaan en ken – is jy ‘n gay seun Gretha Wiid? …Nie so gedink nie… #runalongnow”.

    The reason for my comment was simple – If you’re not gay, how would you know why someone is gay or what “causes” it? It has absolutely nothing to do with anyone why people’s sexual orientation differs. Why not teach your kids that every one is different? No two people have the same fingerprint or tone of skin colour or iris. How can anyone be so very narrow minded when it comes to our sexuality.

    I will add though that she does have a right to her opinion. I just think it should be handled with more care, compassion and consideration.

    1. One is entitled to one’s opinion. Yes. But when you are teaching hundreds if not thousands of young school kids something that is incorrect – it becomes a whole other story and it can be very dangerous. Her type of teaching is proven to lead to teen suicide. So I must go gently on her? Research LGBT teen suicide. Go to The Trevor Project website. Go to the Williams Institute website. I don’t have time to convey all the research.

      1. Wow I’m just reading through all the comments and everyone I disagree with is yours and that’s not even on a Christian standpoint, it’s on a logical viewpoint. You claim that what she teaches is incorrect, yet there is no evidence that what you are teaching is correct. You require absolute knowledge to make a statement like that and I’m sure that you don’t have absolute knowledge. So that said you cannot claim that what she teaches is “wrong”, you can however claim that it does not agree with your idea of what right is, just as she has done.

        1. LOL!!!! I am 100% correct. What part of what I am saying do you challenge! I am NOT the teacher. I am writing an article here! What statement do you challenge. I have many comments coming in and do not know what you refer to.

  5. Speaking as a gay woman, I replied on the article by writing the following: “So oningelig. Dis wanneer mense dink almal moet val onder hul perfekte prentjie van hoe goed moet wees. Bepaal jou by jou eie lewe en praat oor goed wat jy verstaan en ken – is jy ‘n gay seun Gretha Wiid? …Nie so gedink nie… #runalongnow”.

    The reason for my comment was simple – If you’re not gay, how would you know why someone is gay or what “causes” it? It has absolutely nothing to do with anyone why someone is whoever they are. Why not teach your kids that every one is different? No two people have the same fingerprint or tone of skin colour or iris. How can anyone be so very narrow minded when it comes to our sexuality.

    I will add though that she does have a right to her opinion. I just think it should be handled with more care, compassion and consideration.

  6. WOW, HOE DANKBAAR EN BLY IS EK DAT EK GEEN IDEE HET WIE HIERDIE WIID PERSOON IS NIE. MAAR IN MY KINDER-/JONGMENSJARE – DIS NOW SO TUSSEN 55 EN 65 JAAR GELEDE, HET VAN DIE VOLWASSENES VAN DAARDIE DAE OOK DIE GEDAGTES EN “BYGELOWE” GEKOESTER WAT SY IN DIE AFGELOPE DEKADES SE NAVORSING EN LEERPROSESSE NOG NIE EENS BEGIN BEGRYP HET NIE. JA, EN DIT IS HIERDIE “MIDDELEEUSE BYGELOWE” AANGAANDE GAY MENSE WAT SY ONGELUKKIG VOORTPLANT MET ‘N DOKUMENT SOOS DAARDIE EEN WAT KAMMIG INLIGTING VERSPREI, RIGTINGGEWEND MOET WERK EN AS LEIDING VIR KINDERS EN JO0NGMENSE, SOWEL AS HULLE OUERS BEHOORT TE DIEN.

    EK STEM TEN VOLLE SAAM MET DIE KOMMENTAAR VAN DIE DAME BY DIE AFRICAN HUMAN RIGHTS COALITION. WIID SE EIE ONKUNDE EN “BYGELOWE” AANGAANDE GAYS, BEHOORT NIE EENS DIE LIG TE SIEN NIE. MAAR, SOOS ONGELUKKIG MET ALLE STERIOTIPES (BYVOORBEELD AANGAANDE GESTREMDE PERSONS WAT KAMMIG ALMAL OOK GEESTSGESTREMD IS), SO SIT DIE BYGELOWE AANGAANDE GAYS OOK IN MENSE SOOS WIID SE KOPPE VAS. DIT IS OM VAN SIEK EN NAAR TE WORD. DERDUISENDE JONG MENSE LY AS GEVOLG VAN WIID EN ANDERE SE ONKUNDE EN WANBEGRIP EN TALLE KINDERS EN JONG VOLWASSENES PLEEG SELFMOORD VANWEE SULKE BLATANTE ONSINNKIGHEDE EN DIE GEVOLGE DAARVAN IN DIE SAMELEWING, IN KERKE EN IN HUISGESINNE. MAG IEMAND SOOS WIID “VREUGDE” EN “RUSTIGE NAGTE” PUT UIT DIE WETE DAT HULLE DIE SELFMOORD GETALLE ONDER GAY MENSE AANMOEDIG EN BEVORDER. NEE WAT: “VRA OM VERSKONING!” DIT SAL NIE DIE LEWE VAN MENSE OF SELFS DIE GELUK VAN ANDERE TERUG BRING NIE. “BY THE G R A C E OF GOD, I AM WHO AND WHAT I AM” EN GEEN WIID OF STEVEN ANDERSON OF WIE OOKAL SAL HIERDIE LEUSE VAN MY LEWE LAAT VERANDER NIE!!!

    DEAR MOTHER OR FATHER OF A GAY JOHN OR PETER, OR OF A LESBIAN ANN OR MARY – FOR GOD’S SAKE, LOVE YOUR CHILD, SUPPORT YOUR CHILD, TRY AS HARD AS IT MIGHT BE, TO UNDERSTAND YOUR LOVELY BOY OR GIRL. I TRUST THAT MOST OF YOU WERE DELIGHTED WHEN HE OR SHE WAS BORN. AT THAT STAGE, THEIR SEXUAL ORIENTATION DID NOT SHOW AND ONLY DEVELOPED MUCH LATER. HOWEVER, YOUR HOMOSEXUAL SON OR DAUGHTER IS STILL EXACTLY THE SAME PERSON TODAY AS HE OR SHE WAS ON THE DAY OF THEIR BIRTH. YOU WERE TOTALLY UNABLE TO CHANGE THE COLOR OF THEIR EYES OR THEIR SKIN, YOU WERE UNABLE TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT HOW TALL OR SMALL HE OR SHE IS. SIMILARLY, YOU CHILD COULD NOT CHANGE ANY OF THAT EITHER. IN EXACTLY THE SAME WAY NEITHER YOU NOR YOUR CHILD CAN CHANGE HIS OR HER SEXUAL ORIENTATION (BE THAT HETEROSEXUAL OR HOMOSEXUAL) – THAT IS PART OF THEIR GOD GIVEN BODY, MIND AND SOUL. THANK THE LORD FOR THE CHILD WHOM GOD ENTRUSTED TO YOU!!!

  7. I have attended one of her womans worthy workshops and it was awsome however i also feel whatever she had to say on that day are things that we all already know. She is just charming and outgoing and knows how to make money from how she presents herself to people! I realised that she is not shy in anything she has to say…..then i approached her and asked her what she thinks about gay people and maybe it could be her next subject at one of these conferences….she has never replied to me…….i will not attend one of her workshops again as i never knew this is how she feels about gay people……my daughter is gay and she is the most wonderful person you will ever meet…..i do not feel ashamed of her in any way and will love her forever!

    1. HI Karien,

      I am sure your daughter feels the same way about you! She is lucky to have a wonderful person like you in her life as her mom!

  8. Dear Mi Wiit,
    I truly pity people like you! Have you ever sat down and thought of by what you telling children might hurt them so deeply and might scar them for life or even worse ending up taking their own life.
    Children attending high school already know their sexual preference, 90% of children already know in primary school.
    I have 1st hand experience on this subject you can not teach me anything believe me.
    After the birth of my son family and friends came around to see the newest addition to the family and the first comment was “what a beautiful little girl!” and my reaction NO IT’S A BOY! many more of those comments came afterward. It upset me so much that I dressed him in all blue boy clothes everyday. At the age of about 3 – 4 years he started wearing my shoes and my tops as dresses, asking me if he looks pretty. He would rather play with girl toys, help me clean up the house and sit with me while i cooked. He preferred to rather play with girls than boys. I then already realised that my child is gay.
    At the age of 15 he came out with it. He is turning 33 this year, he’s been married to his life partner since December 2012.
    They live a ‘normal’ life as a married couple, they both work and have a stunning place, They are accepted by the entire family.
    I have been named as the mamma of the gay community because all their friends loves me to bits.
    Now Me Wiit think again before you open your mouth to say they weren’t born gay!
    Makes me wonder what will you do oneday if one of your grandchildren turns out to be gay.

    1. Thanks so much for your kind comments and for what you do. Just one point of correction. The LGBT community prefers to use the wording “sexual orientation” rather than”sexual preference”. As we believe if we are born gay or lesbian, and it NOT a choice – then its not a preference but rather an orientation. – some people may choose to think we use the word preference to denote “choice”…
      Thanks again …Keep the love going strong…

      1. This is truly sad hope Gretha will take responsibility for her actions. We are parents of a gay son and proud to be. He had the ease of mind to reveal his status at 15 to his dad. He is 23 now and his dad is his safe heaven. We’ve got two other boy’s if they where abused why are they non gay? But instead love their brother dearly. Due to her had my first incounter at a hair salon yesterday with one of her followers. I hope she will mend all the broken Hart’s after children commit suicide. And be there to build up parents how can not handle the comments and abuse to follow. I personally feel us the guy community perants must take her to court so she can proof that we are bad parents

        1. Thanks for your comment and for supporting your son. That is the most loving thing a parent can do – is to support a child with love and understanding. The parents who try and lie to kids that they can CHANGE their sexual orientation – are the participating in the type of thing Gretha promotes and its dangerous. VERY DANGEROUS! Because the idea that people can choose their orientation means they can change. And that is just NOT possible. Gretha Wiid’s talk ias to put it mildly NONSENSE and IGNORANCE and actually HATEFUL! Thank the stars for people like you Juanita – You should consider also putting in a complaint to the SA Human Rights Commission like many are doing. There are Court cases which I will report about concerning aspects of this.

  9. Thank you for taking this on to protect people. Greta Wiid’s publications, teachings, workshops, seminars and guidelines regarding this issue is certainly misguided and not based on science.

    People are born gay.

    I grew up on a farm, in a typical Afrikaans house and my parents both loved me dearly. I never experienced rejection from them. They supported me in all my school activities, career and business endeavours. Yes, there was sibling rivalry and mean cousins, but nothing out of the ordinary.

    I didn’t know I was “gay” during my youth – I just felt naturally attracted to men, more than to women – my mother and some women were very beautiful to me, but I never really felt the butterflies with women like I did with men.

    I was so ignorant then. I didn’t think there was anything wrong with me, let alone attach a label to what I was feeling.

    It was only later during high school that I learned about how society in general, especially Christians, condoned homosexuality. It was not just frowned upon; there was a distinct separation, even hate, between groups,… black, white, straight, and gay.

    But it was only after school and my 2 year military service to my country, that I made the connection or interpreted my feelings as being gay.

    My best girlfriend and I often went out together to gay clubs. Things were different then. We were both free spirited and shared many values. We fell in love and got married, had two amazing, beautiful children, and stayed married for 21 years.

    Unfortunately our bond was not strong enough to withstand society’s judgemental rejections, and indoctrinating teachings from the pulpits.

    We went for marriage counseling, coaching, pastoral counseling, and courses (including Greta and Francois Wiid’s marriage enriching weekend course called the “Olie- en Verekamp”) We became very good friends with the Wiid’s after that camp.

    I learned a lot and we really tried to keep the marriage together, not only for us, but for our kids too.

    I maintain that I was a loyal husband and I still am a committed father.

    Our divorce was brutal.

    Most of the society we were part of, during our married years, sided with her, and encouraged her to obliterate me – of this I am sure, as I can not believe that she could ever have been capable of such cruel, inhumane, bullying behaviour.

    Her prominent attorneys were part of this onslaught, who were clearly justifying their behaviour based on their beliefs. It is after all their duty to maintain and keep their hypocritical holiness and honour in tact, I’m sure.

    They obliviously treated me like a criminal, on par with how you would treat a murderer. Even though I was eager to do the right thing, they just kept on attacking, and nothing I could ever offer could have been good enough – they wanted everything and my head on a stick. I was not supposed to make a living or have any kind of life after the divorce.

    The pressure was so fierce that my ex-wife even developed a loss of memory or mental block against our history together – Everything we went through together is now lost, even the agreement that we made before we got married with the knowledge that I am gay and that I never lied to her.

    Greta Wiid still plays a huge roll in my ex-wife and daughter’s life as they are still serving God under that pretence of sinless Christianity. I think Jesus is really disappointed when he looks at their behaviour and He is just shaking His head at how His Word is being abused and twisted to justify this abomination.

    It is just so strange to me that Greta Wiid can be so convinced that it justifies her judgmental convictions even though she has a gay brother. Does she reject her brother because he is gay?

    For the first time in my life, I feel at home with myself. I am now a mature male masculine man and I live life to the full as a gay man with my partner, creating a very successful life and business together, and our kids adore us.

    My message to Greta Wiid, “let him without sin, cast the first stone…”

    1. Thank you for sharing your very moving story for all to see. This article has gone viral and what you say is important – so that people can see how this divisive uneducated ignorance serves to destroy lives, divide families and take children from parents.. Its stunning to me that she will rather have lives destroyed in the name of God and Jesus, and in line with her fundamental selfish interpretation of Bible, rather than see happy loving families remain connected in love and acceptance. Without that divisiveness your divorce could have been smooth and amicable and our wife could have helped foster the connection with your child. I am a divorce mediator by profession. I used to be a lawyer when I lived in SA. I have concluded, settled many many divorces where a spouse comes out as gay and lesbian and the hurt and pain ios dramatically mitigated when uncoupling parents can place the relationship of each parent with child at the fore. Stay strong – and keep an eye on these pages as we see what action can be pursued.

  10. Thank you Melanie for addressing this very important issue. Huge admiration for you and for the work you are doing. Thank you to everyone raising their voice and standing up for what is right, not for what is WIID! Gretha is a self-proclaimed-meritless-chieftain making ludicrous, biased statements to impressionable young people (on issues she clearly knows nothing about). Instead of assisting with any kind of support, she is creating further divisions and far more serious and real issues. I apologize for being blunt, but will she also assist parents who lose a child due to teen suicide because they perhaps fear that they will not be accepted by society according to Gretha’s defective teachings? Or will she then see the direct trauma caused by her counter-counselling? The world needs more love and acceptance and less paltry prophets like Gretha Wiid.

  11. What i find interesting is that this woman is deleting all thr negative comments made on her group. She cannot handlr negative criticism. She then proceeds to block the people who ask her about this page in her book. She wanted to be in the spotlight but she dissmissed every other person who disagreed with her. Its shocking

  12. I agree with Gretha Wiid 100% .
    God made men and women for each other not men for men & women for women! She doesn’t have to apologise to anyone!
    Grow up…

    1. Well that is your fundamentalist belief – and many disagree with you. I think God made us just the way we should be. Homosexuality is scientifically proven to NOT be a choice. So you are suggesting God fucked up? Or God made us in his gay image? And that book you rely on – well seems you pick and choose what you want to use to escape your fear of your own sexual confusion – ignoring most of what it truly says. God made man and women to procreate and now with modern science lesbians can procreate with each other using donated sperm – and men can procreate using surrogates. And we can adopt in this over populated world. That wonderful Bible thing was designed to evolve with us. I suggest you heed the dicta concerning no judgment and work harder to stop the rape and piliage of wars – because THAT is what Sodom and G was about – it was not about loving relationships between two consenting adults. Let the Bible evolve with the times – show love and acceptance NOT hate and intolerance

        1. Actually most biblical scholars and historians from major universities worldwide concur that Sodom and Gomorrah did not actually exist (as did the half the things you read in the Bible actually, it that’s for another day)

    2. Another self-proclaimed relationship therapist! wow! Who made you the expert on who you are allowed to love and who not. Seems like you and Gretha will make a great team. (100%) Don’t be surprised if you are the marginalized group of narrow-minded therapists sitting alone in the corner quietly gossiping by yourselves while the rest of society kicks you to the curb!

      1. I agree that Anonymous is cowardly when a person merely makes a comment of opinion – yet imperative when giving away identifying factors that can endanger themselves or their kids. There are two commentators here who have real life stories connected to Wiid and their stories are in the comments and appropriately anonymous. But when someone cannot stand behind mere opinion with a name – tey are truly cowards. Hey I put MY NAME to my opinions in this article and face attack hate mails everyday!

    3. I understand what you are saying but I do have a few questions though.
      I know a bot about genetics and how it works.

      If Eve was made from Adam’s rib they would have the same DNA, the would be clones… In other words Eve must have been Steve…, Adams brother or just Adam the second…

      Steve somehow needs to become Eve so that it fits the story. To do this he transforms into Eve. There you have the first transgender, but with the shared DNA also Adam’s sister…

      Somehow in each of the scenarios they either have a gay or incestious relationship or both.

      I am not sure if the writer of the bible had any knowledge on genetics bit his god sure didn’t.

  13. Who published this work of fiction? They should be taken to book – WHAT WORRIES ME GREATLY IS THAT SHE IS IN A POSITION OF INFLUENCE shaping young minds and perpetuating the stigma that causes pain and suicide among young LGBT people! Here is the glorious truth – if you exclude anybody from God’s love, you are not a Christian. ANYBODY! This was Christs message – above all Love your fellow man as you love yourself. I wish I could tag Gretha Wiid in this post, but her Facebook Page has no @ allocation to do so – it doesn’t allow one to comment or to rate and review – now that to me says it all.

  14. Anything can be “scientifically proven” if you look hard enough. I also run a sexuality workshop for children, and I also maintain that homosexuality is disordered. And it is MY RIGHT, and the parents’ RIGHT to teach our children what we believe to be correct.

    1. Of course it is your right to teach your kids what you want.
      You may teach them that 1+1=3 or that the earth is flat, just because you believe it.

      The problem is that just because you believe something does not make it real. Think about Santa Claus, Fairies etc. Kids think they are real and parents tell them they are real even though ot is not.

      The problem you are facing is when these children grow up and find out about all your lies…

  15. Love your neighbour as you love yourself…………from the Bible, as you all know.
    Does that mean only some neighbours (people anywhere around you)? No! It means Everyone, no matter who they are.
    My daughter is gay, I would not change her for a million rand, we love her so much. Others in our family and friends are gay….we love them.

    Let us LOVE and not JUDGE.
    This lady’s type of religion is what pushed me away from church.
    I will end with….
    Judge not lest ye be Judged.
    Love and acceptance is the core of our lives.

  16. May I just say, any parent anywhere in the world, (regardless of religion, culture or race), one true wish for their child, is for him/her to be happy in their life. Is this not something that anyone and everyone deserves, as much as the next person? To be happy. To love and to be loved. Or is the modern-day-christian-perspective (of a select few that choose to distort and warp Christianity to suit them) that God’s love a love that is only limited to a select group? So not inclusive, like it clearly states in the bible, but exclusive? In which part of the bible does it state that God excludes or deny some people his love? Do you think that God made mistakes when he made some people and did an exceptional job with others, so much so that they have a chip on their shoulder, and was placed on this earth to judge others? Do you think you are living and preaching the word of God by doing so? Do you think you are more special because you despise LGBT people? Without a doubt, the best feeling for any parent is to know that their child is safe and happy when they close their eyes at night and when they open them in the morning, whether they are LGBT or not. To love and to be loved whomever they choose! To be happy!

  17. HI Melanie, Is there any way that you can post this remarkable video (or link to it) on the page so that people can view it?

    What an amazing young man this is and how proud his two moms must be! Wow! Inspiring! I have watched this so may times over and over. Is this not what the world should be? A society of inclusiveness and love?

    1. Yes that is Zach. That video went viral while we were fighting ion the USA for marriage equality – so it has been seen by many. For us here its old. But many people could still make good use of it!

  18. The truth shall set you free…and the truth hurts! Well done Greta Wiid. Don’t stop telling the truth! In stand with you.

    1. Willa – are you a lesbian – are you a homosexual – and if NOT then how do you know the TRUTH ? Sounds to me like you are yet another fundamentalist who interprets scriptures in a way that fails truth – due to your inability to contextualize and evolve! There is nothing truthful about what Gretha says – and in fact she admits in her manual that its about what she opines or thinks. There is zero proof of her assertions. But if it makes you happy to call it truth – so be it. However stop trying to shove yourselves on other people. Stop trying to promote your beliefs in a manner that causes suicide among kids. In a manner that breaks up families. Stick to yourselves. Go to church. Pray and keep your beliefs contained where they dont hurt and offend others.

  19. Hierdie lê my ook na aan die hart soos Greta sê.

    As jy nie met my saamstem of jou geloof nie ooreenstem met myne nie, scroll gerus verby.

    In std3 het ek die eerste keer n meisie gesoen. Op ouderdom 10.

    As aktiewe lid van die NG kerk het ek meer as eenkeer soos n banneling gevoel. Soos n heiden wat dit nie werd is om te leef nie.
    Ek het selfs probeer om dit weg te bid en boyfriends te hê. Die stryd hard geveg tot in matriek nog.
    Talle selfmoord pogings het gevolg. 11 om presies te wees.

    Iewers tussen n ongelooflike sielkundige. N ma wat my soeke na myself met trane deurgesien het. N pa wat aanhou glo het. *fokjoupille en deursettingsvermoë het ek myself en geluk in myself gevind.

    Ek glo aan God. Dié God van liefde en genade. En ek en my huis dien ook die Here.

    Greta Wiid. Ek love jou teachings en luister graag na wat jy te sê het, maar, JOU OPINIE IS GEVAARLIK en laat my met n knop in my maag. Want dit is goed soos dit wat my definitief nog meer deurmekaar gemaak het as kind in my soeke na die “ek” en waar ek inpas in die Creator se plan.

    Ek is geleer as kind om alle gelowe en die gebrek daaraan te respekteer. So ook om alle opinies aan te hoor en my eie te vorm. Maar waar dit kom by sulke jong kinders is JOU opinie dalk nie die regte manier om die gays te probeer “red” nie

    Romeine 3:21-28 se dan immers:
    Maar nou het die vryspraak deur God waarvan die wet en die profete getuig, in werking getree. Dit is die vryspraak wat nie verkry word deur die wet te onderhou nie, maar deur in Jesus Christus te glo. God gee dit sonder onderskeid aan almal wat glo. Almal het gesondig en is ver van God af (het ’n tekort aan die roem/eer/ligheerlikheid wat hulle by God moes hê), maar hulle word gered, sonder dat hulle dit verdien, op grond van sy genade vrygespreek vanweë die verlossing deur Jesus Christus. Hom het God gegee as offer wat deur sy bloed versoening bewerk het vir die wat glo. Hierdeur het God getoon wat sy vryspraak behels: Hy het die sondes wat Hy voorheen in sy verdraagsaamheid tydelik ongestraf laat bly het, vergewe. Maar Hy het ook getoon wat sy vryspraak in die teenswoordige tyd behels: Hy oordeel regverdig deurdat Hy elkeen vryspreek wat in Jesus glo.

    1. Yes you are Marius Meyer – with her on this – probably another homophobe terrified of his own fantasies! Most people who cannot accept the sexuality of others have a hard time with their own. They tend to obscure their fears with religion and they dont realize the harm they cause others through their self loathing or failure to accept their own sexuality. This has been proven time and time again. So you have my love and compassion. May G-d forgive you!

    2. Lucky for you and Gretha, the Zulu’s and Xhosa’s don’t have the same attitude as you about Afrikaaners in Africa.

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