A New American Sport – “Kill The Bill.”
A cross between Quidditch ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quidditch) and Rugby, a new and most perilous sport has emerged out of the Bill debate for Healthcare reform.
Current Champ is “Just a Mom” –
This is how it works – and truly– if you play -you risk not only your life, but mine, albeit I am a mere spectator!
The Game:-There are two sides; the GOPPY team and the other the DEMMY team. Each side must dress in like manner to confuse the other side. So no one knows who is who. The confusion engendered by this is what makes the game so dangerous.
The Stakes are high – life or death for some – as I said before even spectators are at risk. The Location – Local town halls; The Referee a member of Congress.
The play: – Ref stands up and speaks about a series of Bills to reform healthcare in the USA, with the notion that both Goppy’s and Demmy’s will debate the pro and cons of the Bills.
Before the Ref has an opportunity to speak to the Bill, the Goppy side seeks to distract the Demmy side by deflecting attention, through a strategy known as scream and yell and lie about who you are and why you are there. The GOPPY sends out the first player and the last player and the Demmies never get to send any at all. No one in the room has a clue what the Goppies are saying – it is all a very loud secret.
The next move is to point and scream – a great GOPPY player is one who can faint or ensure a tear dribbling down a check. The most desired result is a scuffle – scuffles are great The Goppy’s know why they are there. Their purpose is to disrupt the Ref. The Demmy’s don’t have a clue that the Goppy’s are going to make these moves and so their job is to sit there stunned.
Demmies just sit there – that is if the Demmy team was lucky enough to get invited to its game, the first place -sitting in disbelief the Demmy must engage in the occasional gurgle thinking their team may gain some traction, usually to no avail.
Winner takes all – if the game ends in dusty bodies and torn shorts, the game has been a success – however no one knows who has won? No one will ever know who has one; in fact the game is unique in that it is a no win game. It is an all loser game. The rough tough salacious Goppy hooligans and the seriously subdued dubious Demmy’s simply cannot further the much needed engagement and poor Ref, simply a waste of time, especially if impartiality in the interests of American healthcare is tainted by the R that follows the Ref’s name. I know this is very confusing – but the game is like organized crime – it is organized and wrong…. Like Quidditch because it is so astounding and like rugby because it is merely a brawl!
I am not sure how much longer this ridiculous sport will adorn our channels and disrupt our democracy, but one thing I have learnt is that ultimately the bully always loses.
Is this game working and if so to do what – maybe to revert to an old game, instead of KILL THE BILL – how about – HAVE A DISCUSSION?Melanie Nathan © copyright 2009.